Apparently my last post was missing a little something something for my only follower. Haha so here is this weeks edition of....drum role please....WEEKEND SHENANIGANS!!!!!
Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, "Shenanigans."
Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
haha also...
OKAY!! I shouldn't have said shenanigans. Alright the drunken escapades started one week ago on this fine day called wine night.....
We (I think the girls) met up with Damien and (I think there was another guy there) ooh ross!!! Me, Mel, Begin, Damien, and Ross went to the food trucks to get perogies!!! Mexirogies to be exact. Ross had never had a perogie until this faithful day. I think he liked them. How can you not like a perogie though. They're amazing. Then I started getting antsy for some wine and grumpy...we go to Damien's for some reason...I just wanted him to drop me off at wine night, although it's for the best we stopped at his house because his soon to be ex roommate, Cory, was there!!! We were wearing matching shirts. Black and white stripped shirts. Very attractive.
Alright so we go to wine night where we proceed to drink copius amounts of wine and I stole the pool table for the night. Me and Cory played some rando dudes....oh ya Kyley showed up!! It's very odd to have Kyley and Damien in the same room. I think they like eachother though? I don't really get it. Boys are silly. OH YA. There's this CMT concert coming to the casino in calgary and we met this guy who said he'd give me free tickets if I called him 2 nights before the show. I should remember to text him..note to self. Alright so me and Cory made a team name for ourselves which was: Lady and the Seamen. We came up with this name because of our sailoresque attire and the fact that since there was a lady in the duo (moi) we should have it in the title...so people wouldn't get confused or something. Wine night then took a turn to karaoke night. I sang step by step and I think Cory sang something...I hope it was Patio Lanterns!!! That song gets in your brain and never wants to leave...those patio lanterns...okay. Singing at karaoke..drink drink drink....we all go home?? I walked home! Ooooh this leads to the story about old condoms...
Apparently condoms expire. FYI. I did not know this. If something's made of rubber how does it expire? That's like saying plastic expires...I thought they were good for life!!! They are not. I had purchased said condoms for my trip to Mexico last April. I clearly still had some left over because I did not get laid in Mexico. Probably for the best....I did get the Hep A in Mexico but that's a different story. Alright the moral of this story is don't use old condoms they start to smell. Like an ass....like the inside of a stinky large homeless person's ass who hasn't seen a shower or possibly doesn't even know they exist. Terrible. AH I just got a shiver thinking about it. 
Alright Friday = Ponoka Stampede. Yes you heard me. Ponoka. Now before you judge you must know that Aaron Pritchett, Dierks Bentley, Deric Ruttan and Easton Corbin were playing. Although you can judge me for placing Aaron Pritchett ahead of Dierks. I don't know what I was thinking there. Friday we drank. Not just drank.....we got shit bagged trashed before 6...possibly before 4...found some nice people with a beer pong table :) me and cory at the same time sunk a ball into the same cup!! IT WAS PURE MAGIC. I was speechless. yes...me...SPEECHLESS. We went to the place where the concerts are...what is it called...maybe a corral? That sounds about right. More drinking...dancing...me wishing the casino was open!! Some guy got knocked out and a girl got hauled off the dance floor. It was getting intense in there!! 
I was at the front staring at Aaron Pritchett's muscular body for ahwhile...it was quite the view!! Cory and Kerri ended up hogging the tent all night so me and Kyley had to sleep in his truck. It was sooooo cold!!! I was not a happy camper!! We went home....Saturday night I think I went to hudsons?? No. I went to the Rhino with my family!!! My cousins were in town for the weekend. My sister also came out which was crazy because she NEVER ever parties with me. We were doing tequila shots, it got messy. The fire alarm went off at the Rhino and everyone had to evacuate...like WTF. I don't think that's ever happened to me at the bar and I go to the bar A LOT. Sunday was a very hudsons night :) I think. Cory did we go to hudsons on Sunday??? oooooooooh yes. That's when Mel checked us all in then Damien checked all his friends in. John Thai and Trevyn came which is always fun!! We did a lot of shots.
Everyone just wanted to get slammmmered and it happened!! Me and Cory ended up leaving and walking to the fountains...then I think got seperated and he went home and tried to crawl into Ross' window as usual...and I went home with kyley....wow that is not what happened AT ALL. Me and Cory went to A&W and walked through the drive-thru!!! I got a teen burger!!!! We also got apple pies :) I later dropped my apple pie in my sink onto a wet plate, then proceeded to eat said apple pie. It was too delicious not to eat!!! Cory and Kyley slept over aka passed the fuck out.
Monday me and Mel went to the Labour Day Classic game!!! GO STAMPS!!! Edmonton kicked our ass though. We were 1/4 late for the game and then left to get shots with Matt and Joey....then didn't end up going back to the game. Kyley picked us up from Northhill then we went back to the apartment where I showered, kyley napped, Mel chilled and then we got picked up by Cory and Kerri who were just on a romantical date at Loco Lous and we went to HUDSONS!!!! The land of the drunk!!! We all got very drunk. Mel left. OOH Vanessa came!! and Begin!! I was very hungover on Tuesday which then explains my previous post about how I had to do all my expenses for 7 months in 2 days. haha wow. Alright there you have it, the weekend in a nut shell!!!!
currently laughing so hard im crying!
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