Back from Phoenix!!

Good morning my lovely lovers!! I'm back from Phoenix!!! Best vacation ever!! Me and my family went hiking up Camelback mountain, went shopping, to the gym, did some yoga, wall climbing, and drank wine :) It's nice to be back home though! I missed all my friends SO much!!

On top of me being in a great mood because I just got back from vacay, it's also FRIDAY! We're going to decorate the condo for New Years!! I'm so excited!! AND today is a half day at work, and freaking PAY DAY!! Could life get much better?? I'm just not sure it can!! Apparently 2011 wants to leave me with happiness, and I'll take it!! I bought five NYE dresses in Phoenix, but I think I know which one I'm going to choose, you'll just have to stay tuned for a pic! I bought so many awesome things down south, such as this Urban Decay spray that you spray on your face before you go out on the town so your make-up stays put all night!! I also got some new foundation and refreshing eye roller things to make your eyes less puffy which will come in handy for when I come to work hungover! I bought new Nike runners and UGGS too!! Me and Lauren tried the Olay mustache remover, SUCCESS!! It's a little pricey, but totally worth it! I'm going to check out the sales downtown today too!! Holt and Aritzia!!! I'm so inlove with life right now it's ridiculous!! NYE <3

Everyday This Week Feels Like FRIDAY!!!

It's Thursday: aka day four of the Five Days of Hudsons!!! Monday was an epic shit show, Tuesday was really drunk out, Wednesday was the most hungover/drunk day ever, and now here we are at Thursday!! Weekdays are long, and I can't stop eating these Christmas chocolates!

Yesterday I was working up on the 23rd floor and sat pretending to scan while I had the most insane hangover ever. One of my coworkers gave me some baileys for my coffee which was AWESOME, yet difficult to stomach! I struggled through the day, and then around 2:30 my new favorite coworker poured me a stiff vodka diet coke. Best coworker ever!! Me and V were struggling all day and didn't think we would be able to make Hudsons day 3, but we put our big girl panties on and went to Hudsons after work for nachos and caesars! Man, Hudsons nachos are just the best thing ever! After we ate the world, me and V went back to my house where I proceeded to drink half a bottle of wine from the biggest bottle ever! Cory brought our Christmas presents over :) LARGE BOTTLES OF WINE!!! SO amazing. I'm so lucky to have the best friends ever. Casey's coming over tonight for jello shots, champagne, and WINE!!! Me and Vanessa need to go to Hudsons at some point tonight for Hudsons day 4. It'll happen!!

Tomorrow's FINALLY Friday!!!

Am I in Vancouver Yet?

The answer is no. Me and Paul were chatting last night whilst I was inebriated at Hudsons, and I just wish I was in Vancouver already!!! You know when you're waiting for something to happen and just want it to happen right NOW!!! That's how I feel. Like when I sold my condo and just wanted to move out ASAP! Seems like May is a life time away!!!! 

I'm deathly hungover. I saw this coming so I shouldn't be surprised!! Atleast I was productive last night so I don't have to be for the rest of the week!!! I cleaned the apartment, did my laundry, went for a nice long epic tan, and then danced my butt off which pretty much equals time at the gym! I wish I had lotion at my desk right now. I used it all up and need to get some new stuff. I still haven't gotten any Xmas presents...haha I've been spending money on myself. I wish we didn't have to get people shit, then feel bad when they get you something and you didn't get them anything. I'll just hide from everyone until New Years and maybe they'll forget about it.

FLAMES GAME TONIGHT!!!!! WHERE'S MY BUD LIGHT!!!!

So much to say!!

Last weeks posts were a little few and far between because I was working down south for one of our companies who needed a little extra help! I'm back now though :) MUAHAHA! I'm pretty sure this is going to be the best week ever!! I'm getting my hair dyed after work today, then me and V are going to have some champagne and meet some friends at Hudsons for $3 hi-balls and dancing, which will then lead to tomorrow being the day of the epic hangover! Tomorrow night I'm going to the Flames game with my my dad, Lauren, and Lauren's bf, then Wednesday I'm going to see my best friend Kyley's band play at some bar downtown!! Thursday Casey's coming over for Christmas celebrations, wine, and making gingerbread houses, and then Friday we'll probably all go out dancing to this new club Commonwealth!! Saturday I leave for PHOENIX!!! SHOPPING!!!

I think I may be going a little over board with all the party plans for this week! Tomorrow I'll probably be hungover as balls and not want to do anything....I need to go tanning like everyday this week besides Tuesday (hockey game).

Friday night, we all went to Hudsons and had the funnest night ever!! We all did the shot ski and drank a lot of "Christmas" shots, they were partially tequila...DEATH! Me, V, Kait, and Mel spent Saturday night together at Mel's cabin in invy! It was soooo fun and relaxing!! We drank everything and ate EVERYTHING!!! We had champagne, jello shots, vodka, wine, beer!! RIDICULOUS. My head was pounding the next day on our drive home, which was the scariest drive EVER!!  I need to take advantage of getting epic shittered before I go to Phoenix, because family + getting shit bombed = awkward....

NACHOS

Is it weird that I can't stop thinking about Hudsons nachos? Perhaps. I don't even remember the last time I had them all up in ma grill!! Friday cannot come soon enough!!! HUDSONS NACHOS GET IN MA BELLLAYYY!! My diet has taken a turn for the worse!! Don't tell Vanessa, but I've got a case of the weight gain. It's Christmas, and winter, and I've stopped running cause it's freaking freezing outside, and I just want to shove everything in my mouth!!!

I'm going to work in one of our shops down south tomorrow!! It'll be a nice little change of scenery from this downtown office! I do love working downtown though. I'm soooo excited to move to Vancouver!! Maybe my boss has some kind of connections there and can get me a job. CMANNN BRUCIE!!! BIGGEST LOSER FINALE TONIGHT!!! I think Ramon's going to win...but I guess you never know! It kind of sucks that there's no girls in the final three, but you win some and you lose some! NACHOS.

The Day of a Thousand Cups of Coffee

Last night Me, Mel, V, and BDB had a little too much fun! There was Rockband, Wine, Boardgames, Vodka, Pizza, which has now led me to an epic hangover. WAHHH I was so good all weekend and wasn't hungover at all, stayed in, drank wine, watched movies, and then Sunday night comes along and I decide it's a fabulous idea to get shit bombed. Typical Stephanie. We played this HILARIOUS game called Dirty Minds, and I won LIKA BAUS!!!

Just a little something I've learned while trying to lose weight during the holiday season: It's near impossible!!! Yesterday I ate everything. I went to my parents house for brunch and there were sugar cookies, ice cream, Grayson sausage (this amazing sausage from Saskatchewan...and I'm not talking about "insert famous man from Saskatchewan"). Hahaha I just googled famous people from Saskatchewan, and only knew two of them. Evangeline Lily from Lost and Leslie Neilsen who's not even from Sask apparently!

This Friday me and V are going to get Hudsons nachos. I'm so excited I could burst!!! It's our reward for being such good little dieters (I swear I'll be good this week). I can't even describe how amazing these Hudsons nachos are. So much cheese, and sour cream, the salsa, jalapenos, black olives!! OH EM GEE I want them in my mouth right now!! Friday you can't come soon enough!!!

In the Spirit!!

Christmasss Christmas...the happiest time of year! I'm counting down the days until I'm in Phoenix. 15 days to be exact! I finally finished making those stupid binders for my boss that I was complaining about yesterday, and have now moved on to an even boring-er task!! Benefits and expenses! I have let this shit pile up...operation red bull and paperwork!!! Although clearly I'm lying because, as I type on my blog I'm clearly not being productive at all! PROCRASTINATION!!

Last night us gal pals hit the town and went to see the Flames play at the dome!!! Twas a GREAT game!! Well the hockey was a little weak, and there were no fights, but we had such a great time!! Mel was chosen to play the Tim Hortons cup challenge during the commercial break which was HILARIOUS. She won a coffee maker by the way!! WOOOO MEL!!! My friends are so cool.

I'm so excited to relax this weekend!! Tonight is wine/movies/gingerbread house/buy tickets for NYE!!! Tomorrow morning I'm going to attempt to wake up at 5:45am and watch the solar eclipse (wish me luck on that one), going to Banker's Hall to volunteer to wrap gifts at 10am....then back home at 1:00 hopefully to do some sitting on my butt! Ooooh I really want to go tanning this weekend too, and hit the gym since I have not worked out all week!! Sunday is family brunch....BORING! Haha jk....not really jk. Lauren's in town so I'll have to see her at some point! 

I'm Moving to Vancouver.

Me and Vanessa are moving to Van in May. It's been decided. I miss Paul too much. Is Paul the main reason I'm going to Vancouver you may ask? The answer to that question is yes, but it'll be good for me to experience living somewhere else too. I need to save some money!!! I really hope my xmas bonus is good...haha we'll see!

Long distance relationships are balls. I don't know how some people make it work. Me and Paul are the best of friends and text everyday, but it's so hard when you're not in the same city as that person...it's like you kind of forget about them, or something equally terrible. I had a moment of clarity after I consumed a bottle of wine last night, and figured...why not move to another city for awhile? I sold my condo, have a disposable job, friends will always be there, and Floufy can come with me! Vanessa's lease runs out in May, so it's perfect timing!! Save some money and GTFO!!

I totally fucked up these binders I'm making for my boss...and I'm trying to find the motivation to fix them...I think it's going to be a lot of effort. Does milk in little creamer containers last forever? I'm starting to think so. I bought these little creamer sized milks for the office like MONTHS ago (okay I get it, I'm gross) and they still haven't gone bad...okay that's not entirely true, some of them are now yellow and separated when you open them, but for the most part they're alright!! I should really order new milkies...

I miss my best friend.

I miss Paul too much. I hope I get a super awesome bonus, then me and floufy can move to van. Perhaps minus floufy...jk..Wahh I miss my bestie.

STOKED ON LIFEEEEEEEE!

Now if you're reading this Pete, I do not mean that I'm stoked FOR life...I'm fucking stoked ON IT!!! OKAY????

Now that that's out of the way....I'm not hungover today!!! YAHOOO!!! Last night I went to say goodbye to my best friend who's going to work in Kamloops for 3 weeks...wahh I'm sad...and then went home and watched How I Met Your Mother in bed, passed the fuck out, and am back to my awesome non hungover self! I'm excited to relax tonight, maybe go to the gym...have a good sleep, and go to the hockey game tomorrow night! Mel has graciously invited me to go with her to the Flames game and I'm super excited! Saddledome burrs, sexy hockey boys, life doesn't get much better than that my friends!
I'm going to Phoenix in 17 days!!! I really can't wait to get out of Calgary for a little bit, and go to the states and SHOP SHOP SHOP!! I hope I get a good Christmas bonus this year!! That would be sweet...BUY EVERYTHING!!!

A bunch of us are going to Vegas in February for my birthday/mardi gras/any excuse to go to Vegas is a good one!! I think there's 6 of us going to far...trying to convince Kyley to come too...we'll see! I told him if he didn't come I was going to marry Trevyn! Trevyn's a good catch, I'd marry him anyways!! I think I'm going to take Bio 30 in the new year, so I can apply for something Medical in September. Fuck I'm so indecisive it drives me INSANE. School, travel, new job...I'm back in the cycle!! Damn the cycle of indecision!!

Lost half a pound last night....that's promising! I'm back on the fitness train! I lost it there for a little bit, but don't worry I'm back on! All I can think about is Hudsons nachos. Drooooooool.

Can I Go Home Now?

I'm dying a Hudsons death. Me, V, Trav, and Nicole went to Hudsons last night. Nicole was driving so she left early, but you know how the rest of us are....PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!!! Three dollar vodka diets got me good! Somehow I only managed to spend four dollars....not really too sure how that happened! Thank god it's almost 3:00, and I didn't take a lunch break so I'm leaving at 4:30. It's over. Now I can just fuck around on the inty for an hour and a half and go home!! HOME!!! Omg to be wrapped in a blanket on the couch is all I want to be doing...perhaps with a comforting glass of wine :) that sounds so nice right now. When I close my eyes I can picture myself there!! There's some good TV on tonight and then tomorrow is HUMP DAY!!! Real world....LOVE. I'm pretty sure I've had four cups of coffee, and a diet coke, and I could still pass out right here!! I'm so happy I don't have yoga tonight!! OMG!!! PRAISE JESUS!!! I would dieeee. Although, I did yoga on Sunday when i was a thousand times more hungover and it was good times!!

I'm totally falling off the diet train by the way. It's really not going well at all. I havn't gained any weight, but I've been eating ice cream, and pretty much anything I can stuff in my mouth. EAT ALL THE THINGS. I blame winter, it makes me want to EAT. Chocolate chip cookie dough.....that sounds soooo good right now, or a frosty!! Chocolately goodness. I have to lose 5 pounds in 10 days and I'm so over it....maybe V won't take our bet seriously.....I'm screwed. If you see a video of me running around in a bikini freezing my nipples off, I apologize in advance.

TOO MUCH FUN.

What a crazy fun weekend!! My boss was out of town on Friday so I just fucked around on the comp, went shopping, got some lunch, left early...and since I was a good girl and didn't drink all last week, I went balls to the walls CRAZY on Friday night!!! Friday night was a shit show. There is no other way to describe it. Me, Mel, V, and Steph played sociables and had some cocktails, then went to HUDSONS!! The happiest place on earth!!...or the drunkest place in Calgary. Me and Vanessa were in a crazy dancing mood as always...we tore that dance floor up!! Us gals met up with our guy friends and partied, shared some laughs...drank everything!! As much as I really don't like when bartenders and bouncers know me at a club, I guess it's not the worst thing ever! I'm starting to like going up to the bar and everyone knowing what I'm drinking...haha...being a regular at the bar does have its perks, including the occasional free beverage!! Can't complain about that!! During this Friday night of ridiculousness, I decided it was a good idea to start a conga line! We started at the dance floor...went around the bar, and ended our beautiful conga back at the dance floor. I remember it being magical! Around 12:30am I went to the gay bar, and as soon as I got there John texted me that him and all our friends were at Hudsons! Well shit...I stayed at Twisted till 1:30am, then Kyley came and met me on the side of some road and we went back to Hudsons! Dance, dance, dance...I introduced Kyley to everyone as "my best friend Kyley", and then we eventually went home around 2:30am to smoke a doobs in bed and pass the fuck out. There was shwarma involved in there somewhere.

When I woke up Saturday I did not want to do anything!! I stayed in bed till noon...got up...decided life was not going to happen, and went back to bed. I finally decided to start living life around 5pm. Vanessa was still passed out on the couch like a CHAMP!! On Saturday it was our friend's bday and we were all supposed to go bowling. I freaking LOVE bowling, but there was a blizzard on Saturday and getting a cab was difficult. I didn't want to drive, or take the train, so me and V decided to meet our bowling buddies downtown at the Rhino!!

Oh how I love dancing on a Saturday night at the Rhino!! We stayed at the Rhino until around 2:00am on Sat, and then went back to John's house to eat all his Crispy Minis and pretzels!! YUM YUM!! I woke up Sunday morning, once again not wanting to face the world, but unfortunately I had yoga Sunday afternoon. I contemplated not going to yoga, but I always feel so great afterwards, so I put my big girl pants on and left the house! I love yoga :) With all the toxins out of my system, I was ready to face the world!! After yoga I got a gingerbread latte, went for a tan, and then took my butt to the mall!! I eventually went home to watch How I Met your Mother and eat some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream that Brad brought me and Mel!! What a great weekend!!!

Update on me and V's bet on losing weight by Dec16th: Could be going better!! I now have to lose 5 pounds in 10 days which would prove challenging, but don't worry....I've got it in the bag!

Single Gals on the Prowl :)

It's almost the weekend and me and Mel are going balls out!! Operation Find a man Friday, and if that fails our friend Nicole has suggested: Score a Stud Saturday!! Friday night we're going to go to some pubs downtown...scope out the scene! There has to be something good out there!! It's our friend Adam's bday party on Saturday and we're going bowling, then probably to the Ship or Hudsons on Sat, so we'll just have to put on the charm :) ON IT!! 

Last night a bunch of us went to see Harold and Kumar 3D. It was PHENOMENAL. I may think it was the best movie ever since I love Harold and Kumar and think everything they touch turn to SOLID GOLDDD!! Me and Mel were laughing HYSTERICALLY. We even had to hold hands in the beginning because we were sooo excited!! My fave part was when they were high as balls and in claymation! OMG. I wish they would have done half the movie in high as balls claymation! 

Things I'm Excited For:

• Christmas in Phoenix!
• Christmas. 
• Decorating my office all Christmasy tomorrow!!
• SHOPPING IN PHOENIX
• FUCKING TARGET.
• Harold and Kumar 3D TONIGHT
• Making an epic gingerbread house!! (Mel, let's do this!!)
• Skating, Tobogganing, BOWLING (this sat!) 
• Getting ear plugs so I don't hear my annoying neighbors at 5am
• Santa hats on the cacti in Phoenix!
• My sister coming home from Deadmonton for CHRISTMAS
• Making cute cookies, eating cookies...EGG NOG.

Have I mentioned how much I freaking LOVE Christmas?? IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!! And, It's pretty much a month long!!

Christmas: The only time I don't miss Stampede. 

Subway knows me too well...

I look in the bag my sandwich is in, and find SIX napkins. Sounds about right...they must watch me chow down...it isn't pretty!!

I feel a good week approaching!!

Usually I'm so bleh on Mondays, but I am feeling this one!!! I have to have lost 3.5 pounds by Thursday which I'm totally screwed for, but other than that life is FAB! So, goal for this week: lose 3.5 pounds, and I'm sure it won't be that hard...run, run, run, and try not to stuff my face, I'm golden!!

I had one of the funnest weekends I've had in a really long time, being surrounded by my best friends all weekend was AMAZING! Friday night Begin had her housewarming party which started at her house and about 6 of us gal pals went to Republik, which was a freaking BLAST!!! We did way too many jager bombs...and had A LOT of jello shots at the house...I don't think I made it past 1:30am, and that's being generous! We met our new pal Nicole out at Republik...TOO MUCH FUN!!!! I woke up in my bed naked, with full make-up on, and a bottle of ketchup open...haha that's how you know it's a good night!!


Saturday was even more eventful than Friday, if that's even possible!! Me and Mel woke up hungover AS FUCK. I really didn't want to get out of bed, ever, but Mel was craving McDicks, and I really wanted a mimosa, so alas, we eventually ventured out of the house. Trev, Brad, and Crystal were at our neighborhood pub, Toque, having some breakfast and baileys, so we popped by and said hello :) Me, Mel, John Thai, Cory, and Chris had been planning this epic day where we would make a fort, cook a turkey, and play video games, but I wasn't sure it was going to happen until Cory said he had started cooking this freaking turkey!! Hahaa after wandering around downtown hungover as balls, me and Mel decided we actually had to venture to Cory's house and go through with this amazing day of fort, drinking, turkey awesomeness. We made a list, got our shit together, and finally made it to Cory's around 2:00pm....picked up John Thai on the way...and some wine of course!! What a fun day...omgggg being with your best friends in a freaking "fort" (it was really more of a canopy over the couch), watching Harold and Kumar....drinking...eating so much you want to burst!! SO GOOD.

We eventually ventured back to my apartment to pre-drink and meet up with Robyn and V to go to Hudsons....then the night time drunk started....YEESH. Going from drunk, to hungover, to drunk, to hungover probably 10 times on Saturday!! When we got to Hudsons, we just started pounding back shots and chugging drinks.....hmm this recall of my weekend adventures is making me sound really classy....hah terrible. I ended up leaving Hudsons around 12:30 and going to the gay bar to dance the night awayyyy!!! Stayed at Twisted for a bit, then called up Trevyn to meet me for shwarma, ate some shwarma....got home and passed out, woke up again in the nude with full make up on. When I woke up Sunday I realized my contacts had been in since Thursday wine night. Hahaa Sunday I had to go get Mel from Cory's, and we died there till about 2pm, when we finally took our butts back to our apartment. During this Sunday relaxing/dying day, there was also an insane wind storm going on around us. Good thing we left Cory's when we did because they closed downtown and wouldn't let any traffic in!! I would have cried if me and Mel couldn't get home!!

And there you have it folks, another rendition of: WTF happened this weekend??!?

Forts, alcohol, turkey!! Shabahh!!!

Gettin drunk in a fort with a turkey in the oven! Why the fuck not? MUaHAHA!!!!

My boss is a crazy person.

I started buying granola bars over a year ago for my office. One day we ran out and my boss asked me where the granola bars were and that I should order more because he likes them. Like a good little employee I've been ordering granola bars since. Today my boss says to me: "Who's been ordering these granola bars?? Who eats them??"

Mr. Friend UPDATE

After text flirting with Mr. Friend every day now for at least a month, we still have not met up! He sends me texts like: "You know I'd really like to take you to dinner" or "Could we meet up for drinks downtown" and I reply "Sure! I'd love to!" or "Sounds great! Let me know when you're free!"....okay I'm not exaggerating when I say this has been going on, on and off, for two years. We live 10 minutes away from each other, both have vehicles, and text each other from the couch...hahahhahaa why can't we just meet up?? I DON'T GET IT!!! He'll say he wants to meet up and never follows through! I invited him to Wine Night last night and he was really excited about it the day before, but when the time comes to meet up he says: "It's too far" omfg Wine Night isn't in Airdrie or freaking Okotoks, it's downtown. YOU HAVE A VEHICLE. I'm over it now. I really should have been over it the first time this happened. It's not even just this guy who is flakey as fuck and apparently just wants to flirt text, I feel like it's a lot of guys.

This is becoming my number one pet peeve: guys who ask you out when they're drunk and don't follow through. Why ask me out every time we're at the bar, but never actually follow through with it? What is the freaking point??

I'm frustrated with men, well can we really call Mr. Friend a man? NAY. On to the next one...

Sex.

You know when you get that "omg I wanna get laid itch"? Not an actual itch....if you have an actual itch you should probably go get it checked out. I want to have sex with someone I actually like, and the problem is, I don't like anyone right now. It takes time to meet someone....develop feelings...have them woo you...then actually have good meaningful sex with them...but I want this meaningful sex right meow! Fuck it...I'll have meaningful sex with myself.

Coffee plus HUMP DAY makes me HYPER!!!!!

Ahh, salaam and good evening to you! WEEEEEEEEEE I'm in a weird mood, and it's almost lunch!! Awesome!! SO!!! Do you remember that guy I told you about....Mr.Friend...and how we've been talking forever and never hang out although we both live in Calgary...Well I had some wine last night and decided to grow a pair and ask him to come over for wine night on Thurs! He seems excited about it!! Hopefully he comes and meets the gang, and then we can fall madly in love <3 haha am I rushing it a titch...alright put on the brakes!!!

Looking forward to some wine tonight!!!!
 

Ms. Indecisive

I think I'm possibly the most indecisive person I know, and it's really starting to annoy me!! One day, I'll decide I want to go back to school, and get super excited and into it, and then the next day my brain says...hmm no thanks...maybe you should just get another job....then I go on some job interviews...actually get a new job, then my brain says hmm I think you should go travel, and since you have this job that pays more, maybe you should save money here and then go traveling! So my thoughts go around in circles: school, new job, traveling!! I'm on the traveling train right now...the worst part is saving money. I wish my dad would just give me the money I made from selling my house....haha on the other side he really shouldn't, because I am TERRIBLE with money!!! I like to shop :) and party party PARTY!!

I JUST added new music to my iPhone and last night my right ear bud died, and this morning my left ear bud died......WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! Yes, I could just go buy new ear phones, but I'm weird about ear phones, and have found that the only ones I like are at the airport....so I'm going to have to wait till Christmas when I go to the airport to get new ear phones...I'll probably just use crappy ones till then...but i won't be happy about it!!

Well if it isn't Monday, you sly mynx!!

MONDAY!!! Me and John Thai are going to a movie tonight cause we're AWESOME...and he has free passes...but it's mostly because we're awesome. I stayed in on the weekend like a good little girl! Drank ALOT of wine with V, and danced around the living room like the sexy beasts we are! We were bored as shit yesterday though, until we drew mustaches on eachother, watched Anchorman, and went to 1410 where our friends were! So I guess we kind of went out....but no money was spent so it's all good!! We drank  A LOT of wine and then there were some shots....and ate some shwarma!

"I'm Ron Burgundy??"

There was this kind of creepy guy at 1410...you know, one of those guys who hits on every chick with a pulse. Luckily Trevyn came to the bar, and I clung to him for dear life, telling creepy boy that me and Trevyn were engaged. Worked like a charm!! I should probably get a real boyfriend before I become the world's biggest cock block to poor Trevyn!

Weeeeee Saturday Night In!!!

Imma get drunk and go to the gym!!!!! LIKA BAUS!!!

WEEEEEEEEEE COFFEEEEEEEE!!!

I'VE HAD SO MUCH COFFEEEEE!!!!!

It's so chilly out...why do I always forget how mo effing freezing Calgary is in the winter when I've lived here for 25 years!! Silliness!! I'm not gonna lie, I was a titch hungover from wine night last night! We ended up at Hudsons for 4 dollar glasses of wine, which was AWESOME!!! Had soooo much fun!!! DRINK ALL THE WINE!!!!! Hahahaa and now it's time to stay inside all weekend and be a good girl....right Stephanie? NO BAR!! Honestly if I don't go out this weekend I'll be shocked...I can't seem to stay in!!

Brrrrrr Maties!!!

We'll see....

Kyley: Yo come to the Yardhouse tonight?

Me: FUCK NO. I need to stay in!!! It's cold!! I hate winter!! I need to hibernate!

Kyley: I have a 100 dollar bar tab.

Me: Ok....we'll see...

Running Around Bikini Clad!

Me, Mel, and V are dieting. We're going to lose 7 pounds by December 16th or else we have to run around downtown in the winter, in a bikini, while someone films it! HAHAH I kind of want to do that anyways...hah JK it would be so cold!! More importantly I have to find a way to be 110lbs in a month. It sounds exhausting. I'm thinking if I run at lunch, go to the gym in my building after work...walk to and from work everyday... and never eat I'll be golden. HAHAHA terrible. Well atleast I have a month and not like 2 weeks! A month is do-able, and then I'll be going to Phoenix and be in ma bikini tootin about!! hahah not actually tooting...hahah I've had a lot of coffee....haha WEEE ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!! Going to the Blind Monk with the Brits tonight!!! Maybe monsieur owl will make another appearance!! DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH!!!!

The Pink Spandex Beauty and the Owl 0_0

It was a party night for Candi and all of her sexy friends out on the town in the land of Enchantress. There was a fabulous party at the Enchanted Castle put on by the King and Queen of Enchantress that these gorgeous young girls just had to attend! Luckily for the girls, Candi’s best friend Mystic always had the hook up for the best parties, since her father was the Count of Charmniferess!  This party wasn’t your average ball where everyone dressed up in their finest gowns and tuxedos, the King and Queen decided to shake things up and have an 80’s party!! WOOOHOOO!!! Candi, Mystic, and their friend Vixen got dressed in their sexiest 80’s outfits and hit the town!! Of course, they called they’re driver to come and pick them up and drive them to the Enchanted Castle, these girls are way too hot to take a taxi ;)

Upon arrival, Candi, Mystic, and Vixen scoped out which princes were the hottest! Prince Abubu was looking extra fine in his cut up White Snake T-shirt and white washed jeans, and Prince Gorgeous Bottom was also looking ripe for the picking with his plump derriere!  Mystic and Vixen were all over those Princes, but now Candi was looking around for her sexy Prince! After wandering around the Enchanted Castle for what felt like an hour, Candi decided to step outside and take a breath of fresh air. Looking out into the Enchanted Forest from the Castle, Candi decided she would go for a little walk into the forest, since she’d had a little of the Castle’s Special Electric Punch and was feeling a little adventurous!

The Enchanted Forest was magical and filled with fire flies which made the forest twinkle in the night. All of a sudden a huge disgusting owl with a wing span of what seemed like a grown man swooped out of no where and grabbed Candi from where she stood. “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!” She screamed in sheer terror. (Candi has an extreme fear of owls, and is deathly afraid of their creepy beady eyes, and the way their heads rotate on their body so it seems they can turn their heads all the way around. *shiver*) The owl spoke: “Don’t worry, I’m a Prince in disguise Miss! Please don’t be frightened!” Candi thought to herself: Of course the Prince I would meet is in the form of a freaking owl. The owl and Candi exchanged glances and she looked into his eyes and saw there was something more to this owl, and maybe he was really a Prince in disguise! She asked him “So, if you’re a Prince, why are you in the body of an Owl?” The Owl Prince then explained to the breathtaking young girl how he was banished from the kingdom for trying to protect the owls of the forest from being killed for the magical qualities of their feathers. Since Candi saw the goodness and attractiveness in the Owl Prince’s eyes she could tell he was telling the truth. “Is there anything I can do to free you of this owl body and restore you to your human self?” Candi asked desperately. “There is one thing you can do…for the spell to be broken I need 3 girls to gather around me naked and HOOT into the night!”

Candi ran as fast as she could to get her two best girlfriends, Mystic and Vixen!! Candi knew her best friends would help in such a desperate situation! The girls all ran back to the Owl Prince, who was patiently waiting Candi’s return. The girls proceeded to remove their spandex, skin tight jeans, and leggings. They held hands under the Enchanted Forest’s full moon surrounding the Owl Prince butt naked, and started to hoot into the night. HOOT HOOT HOOT!!! The fire flies of the Enchanted Forest started to gather around them, when all of a sudden, Candi noticed a pack of wolves who had also gathered around their circle. The Owl Prince was transforming before their eyes and those wolves were looking hungry! The three girls started to get concerned and knew it was time to GTFO. Candi, Mystic, and Vixen gave eachother the nod to run away, and just as they started to run, without any regard for the fact they were naked, the wolves jumped into the circle and ripped the Owl Prince to shreds. Luckily, the wolves of the Enchanted Forest didn’t have a taste for cute girls, only mystic wildlife. The girls ran to their car, which was waiting in the drive way of the Enchanted Castle, and managed to remain unseen by party guests. Mildly shocked and shaken up by the evening’s events, the girls just looked at each other, started laughing, and said in unison “You win some, and you lose some!!” And that, my friends, is why you never trust an owl.

I met a guy who doesn't speak english...

So I'm spending my afternoon learning french!! Clearly the best use of my time!

I met this guy at a party on Friday and since he's cute and I'm cute, we clearly hit it off. Little problem: he doesn't speak a lot of English. I went to french immersion for 13 years, so you think I would be able to atleast somewhat converse with this fine french man a little bit...un petit peu!! haha no. I don't remember any french. I told him I could speak french and that we should get together and I would teach him some english...haha drunk Stephanie is a moron. I don't even know the guy's name...he's in my phone as: French Mab. Anyways, we were making out for a bit and then we bid adieu until le prochaine fois...man my francais is le rusty...

Operation learn french this afternoon and seduce monsieur frenchy french on our date demain...night...fuck I'm screwed...

BRONCHI!

I'm pretty sure I've had bronchitis for the last month and a half, so hopefully today the doctor can fix it! I finally went to the walk-in clinic a couple weeks ago because I needed a sick note when I skipped work to get my hair done. I mentioned my coughing issue to the doc, and he checked me out and said it was bronchitis. The doc gave me some antibiotics and they didn't work! My mom's been freaking out and telling me I have pneumonia and that she's going to come to the doctor with me because "doctor's take you more seriously when there's more than one person in the room" haha okay mom. My parents are pretty over-protective, so my dad found me a family doctor and I'm going today at lunch. Hopefully they can make my annoying phlegm cough so away...it's quite unattractive! Wish me luck :)

*Update*

She told me to wait it out....

haha boo :(

MOONDAY!

Another Monday at work...oh dear jesus it's boring. I'm really excited to go to Phoenix next month!! SHOPPING and not being in Calgary...and then VEGAS in FEB. oh em geeeee!! So excited! I have Cotton Eyed Joe stuck in my head. TOO MUCH COFFEE. Come back weekend I miss you <3

Best. Long Weekend. Ever.

Paul's coming home for the long weekend!!! YAY!!! After we all pitched 20 bucks, we got enough money to book Paul a flight home for the weekend!! Randy's coming too!! AWESOME!! Lauren's coming home tonight from Edmonton, so Floufy's going to stay with her and my parents this weekend!! I need to get a mattress for Paul and Randy!!! I have 40 dollars for this weekend....haha fml. Luckily I have a 3/4 full bottle of vodka...I'm just going to have to get slammered at home and then go out. Tomorrow is wine night :) :) If I just get one bottle of wine, I'll only have to spend 20 bucks...haha so that leaves me with 20 bucks for Friday/Sat. I'm so screwed. I'm going to have to wear something reveling and be extra charming and maybe I'll get drinks all night, but Friday we're going to the gay bar!! haha oh no...why do I get paid AFTER the long weekend. I should think of things to sell....a kidney? my car? hmm...

SHORT WEEK and LONG WEEKEND!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's a short work week which pretty much means today is Tuesday, and I'm taking tomorrow off to go on a couple job interviews, so today is pretty much Wednesday! That makes sense right? We're going to OJs for WINE NIGHT on Thurday!! SO EXCITED!! DRINK ALL THE WINE!!!!!! I should definitely own a vineyard one day, or perhaps marry a fine gentleman with a vineyard, I think it might be my calling. Where is vodka made? I would like to work at a vineyard for vodka also, maybe my vineyard can be wine and vodka...mmm vine and wodka. This is going to be a great week!! I can feeeeel it!

Ladies be pimps too!!! Happy Movember :)

I think we need to take a little break from Hudsons. We were there on Friday, and then went back Saturday which was clearly one day too many. I walk up to the bartender to get a drink and he says: "You just love this place don't you??" haha strike one....I walk up to another bartender to get a drink and he says: "I'm impressed, you really kept you composure last night!" strike two. Melissa slaps some guy...strike three. Haha the love affair has ended!! For now...

Things I have right now...WINE

Just doing a little redecorating, dancing around my room naked, drinking wine listening to this gem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgEixhE3Oms&ob=av2n

If that song doesn't make you want to dance around your room I just don't know what does it for ya! I'M REDECORATING MY ROOM!!! WEEEE oooh and now listening to Brown Eyed Girl!!! You're my...brown eyed girl...do you remember when, we used to sing...SHALALALALALALA!!!! BEST SUNDAY EVER!!! I was going to write a post about what a fun weekend I had and how much fun I had with my bestie last night at the gay bar, but apparently my weekend has not ended yet I'm going to have to post about the HIGHLARIOUS events of last night tomorrow when I'm at work!!

SHALALALALALALALALALALA DEEEE DAAA!!!!! LA DEEE DAAAA!!!! :)

Just a couple of girls trying to put together furniture...

We went to Hudsons last night and it was so much fun! Took a shot from some ski they they call shot ski! Ha more importantly me and Mel trying to put together Ikea furniture is quite the disaster. Made a little mistake on the first shelf and then an even bigger mistake on the second..hah oh well, atleast we tried, right? I think we're going to Craft tonight and I'm pumped because I haven't been there before and hear wonderful things about it!


Last night I told Kyley to come over after the bar to have some perogies and hang out, but I accidentally passed the fuck out and when he came over I was unable to answer the door. 16 missed calls and multiple text messages later poor Kyley decided he was going to sleep in my apartment hallway. Our neighbors must love us! I finally heard someone banging on the door at around 6:50am...went to check who it was and it was Kyley!! Haha he was also not very impressed when I told him I was comfy in bed and he was going to have to sleep on the couch. Hahaha hopefully tonight no one will have to sleep in my apartment hallway...only time will tell!!

Places not to go for Wine Night on a Thursday.

For some reason I thought 1410 had cheap Wine Night on Thursday; they do not. Other places that don't have cheap drink night on a Thursday: Classic Jacks...well they have cheap beer, but I'm more of a Vodka and Wine kind of gal! We were going to go to Original Joe's but it was getting late and we all live around the 1410/CJ's area so we stayed local. I need to do some serious research to find a new Wine Night location closer to home!

I told you about the bi-sexual I met on POF right? Well he will not stop texting me and I don't get it! Attention guys: If a girl doesn't respond to your 3rd text in a row, give up. It's over. Do not send texts like: "So, I can tell you're not interested, should I just give up?" YES GIVE UP!!! ON TO THE NEXT YOU CREEPER!! 5 texts in a row is too much!! Friends are different cause you can stalk their lives and it's all good..haha trying to date someone and sending 5 lengthy "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME" texts is needy and annoying. Now, Mr. Bi-Sexual sends me these texts: "So, are we ever going to meet up?" - "You lost interest quick" - "I really want penis in me lol" hahahaha I can't even help him out with that last one...I am not properly equipped!

Thank god it's the weekend!! On a sadder note, I was supposed to go visit my BFF Paul next weekend in Vancouver, but the roads suck for driving and plane tickets are like 800 bucks, and I haven't broken the bad news to him yet. Shitty. Happy note: I'm drinking my first Christmas Starbucks beverage, I chose the Gingerbread Latte! Happy note #2: I'm going to the Keg tonight for steak and mashed taters and WINE!! WEEEE!!

HAPPY FIRDAY!!!

Entering Contests Drunk....and then Winning.

About a month ago me and Paul were drinking wine, and I was fiddling around on the internet. I came across this Rick Hansen Relay site and saw there was a contest you could enter. I think this was during my "I WANNA RUN A MARATHON" stage....or maybe one of my "I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE" moments. I opened the page where you enter the contest and started filling out my information. I remember there being a part that said: "Write Something Inspirational" ...it probably didn't say it in those words..haha anywho the most inspirational thing that pops into my head when I'm wasted: Lyrics to Hercules' I Can Go The Distance. Well it's a month later and I somehow won that contest. The prize? Being the "Medal Bearer" for my community. Hahahaha I think I run around Calgary wearing some medal? I really need to look up what Rick Hansen did. Why can't I enter normal contests when I'm drunk....I could have a free iPod right now or a freaking new car but nooooo Drunk Stephanie wants to run freaking marathons and carry torches and run with medals!

Oh. Em. Gee. This is going to be me.

Mr. Friend

There's this guy that I've known for a awhile now and we never seem to be able to get together for some reason, and I'm not sure why. OKAY BACK STORY. I dated his friend for a bit and then something awkward happened so it was over between us, which is for the best because he's not really my type..short...not the biggest peen...pretty underwhelming. Bleh I hate being underwhelmed, you know when you're so excited to have sex and you see the merchandise you're dealing with, and then just *sigh*. That's been happening to me a lot lately. I wish guys wore t-shirts with the size of their penis on them, that would really help us girls out! Uh and the worst is when they know it's small and have to position you a certain way so there's friction...TERRIBLE. Alright so this guy is cute, but I don't really think our personalities match. Dark hair, scruffy, tall, I bet he has a nice penis. I'm determined to find out. The weird part about this situation is that he'll ask me out and we'll have a plan set and then last minute it just won't happen. The same thing happened when we tried to date last year, he'd ask me to come over to watch a movie and then I'd text him and he wouldn't answer..or I just wouldn't text him and we wouldn't talk about the fact we were supposed to hang out the night before...it's a really weird situation. A couple of nights ago he asked me out for drinks, and we decided to go downtown..maybe 1410...and we haven't spoken since. SO WEIRD. Last year we stopped talking because nothing was happening between us and then he just randomly texted me last week so we started our stupid not going anywhere relationship again and it's the same thing just a year later!! I can't seem to catch a break in the guy department!

There's an Owl in My Trunk

Ok...it's a picture of an owl, but still!! I have developed this huge fear of owls, and everyone seems to be obsessed with them lately. Owl jewelery is all the rage, and I'm so not a fan. Owls are also Telus' new "cute animal" in all their commercials. OWLS ARE NOT CUTE. They are TERRIFYING. Omg I just googled images of owls and almost died inside.

Cough Cough!

I got my hurr did yesterday and I LOVE it!!! Sassy brunette coming your way Calgary...watch out!! Yesterday was possibly the funniest, craziest, most random Monday I've had in awhile! I had my hair appointment at 3:00pm, so in the morning I sent out an email saying: "I have an appointment at 3:00, so I will be leaving early." My boss comes in around 1:00pm and asks what my appointment is for, and since I'm not going to say that I'm getting my hair done, I say it's a doctor's appointment. My boss asks me for a doctor's note. Super, now I have to go to a walk-in clinic, wait for at least an hour and get a doctor's note, but whatever, I really wanted to get my hair done!! After my fabulous hair appointment I went to the walk-in clinic freaking out about what to say to the doc, because I am the worst liar ever and had no clue what to say!! I was texting my friends asking for advice on how to get a stupid doctor's note and I decided to just ask him about this cough I've had for awhile. I've had this mucusy gross cough for about a month and I just thought it was from drinking too much..hah so when I asked the doc about it and he checked me out and apparently it's bronchitis. GOOD TO KNOW. See how everything happens for a reason? Now I have a doctor's note and some antibiotics for my bronchitis and life is gravy!! When I showed my boss that I actually had a doctor's note he seemed to still not believe me, and asked how I got bronchitis. I was like...I don't know?? How do normal people get sick? Living life?? This man has 5 children, people get sick you psycho. I don't really like my boss right now, he's being a prick lately, and acting snotty. He also asked me why I died my hair...for a change? because I wanted to? This is not the first time I've died my hair...more like the hundredth time since I've been here. Just tell me It's nice and GTFO like everyone else in the office!! Sorry, I have the rage. I was also expecting some kind of "oh are you feeling okay" when I told him I was sick, but he just made an "ick" face and walked away. I'm making this man sound like a 12 year old boy, and he's totally acting like it lately. On a happier note....

I WENT OUT LAST NIGHT!!! YA BOIIII!!! Danced my little butt off!!! I was sooo in the mood to party since I didn't go out on the weekend it was RIDICULOUS! Mondays at Hudsons is the best time EVER. It's like a Saturday everywhere else. We have acquired several gift certificates that get you 10 bucks when you walk in the door, so that's free cashola right there, and $3.00 drinks!! I think I spent 20 bucks, and that includes cab right there and home! What a great start to the week!!

HALLOWEEN. FOR LEGIT.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I know this is my third post saying Happy Halloween, but today is the 31st! WOOPWOOP It's also pay day, and I'm leaving work early to get my hair done, AND maybe have a couple wobbly pops at Hudsons tonight with the ladies!!! This day is shaping up to be AMAZEBALLS!!

I had one of the funnest weekends EVER. Friday me and Nicole drank wine and liqueur and ate chocolates and played Rockband and watched Horrible Bosses (HIGHLARIOUS), then watched Get Him to the Greek (also HIGHLARIOUS)!! I couldn't be deathly hungover for Saturday so I didn't to go out on Friday, because Saturday was going to be the funnest. day. EVER.Oh, and it was. I drove up to Edmonton Saturday around 11am to see my sister who's finishing up her schooling there, don't worry, I don't just go to Edmonton for fun...although it was SO MUCH FREAKING FUN!!!! We had burgers, then went to the water park. Alright, this water park is crazy, I don't know how I've never been there before!! It has like 15 slides and ones you can go down on tubes and this super fun one you skid on the water on a floaty. I feel like I've been deprived this being my first time there! I need to go again. ASAP. I also went shopping in Edmonton which was awesome. I bought some Toms, a scarf, and this super cute top I can wear out for cocktails with skinny jeans and heals! After burgers, the water park, and shopping, you would think we'd be tired out...but no my friends!!

It was then time for Puss....in BOOTS!!! If you like Shrek or really any hilarious movie, you will LOVEEE Puss in Boots. It was SO FUNNY. Omg. I still can't stop laughing in my head. One of the funniest things about the movie was when this guy behind me was killing himself laughing when Puss came across his old friend Humpty Dumpty. Hahaha clearly this man hadn't seen the preview, because I saw that part coming!! We saw the movie in IMAX 3D which was pretty awesome! On our way home from the movie, we stopped at Safeway and got a shit ton of candy and some Pillsbury cookies, and strawberry turnovers!! MMM so delicious. I did miss partying with the girls for Halloween though! Mel and V went to Hudsons and looked so cute in their costumes!! Mel was a present and V was Dr. Love! When we go to Hudsons tonight I'm going to have to go to the dollar store and pic up some cat ears! PROWW!!

GOING OUT TONIGHT!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!